We Don't Think Much of Yours

The World is Amazed at the Lack of Choice Being Offered to Electors in the UK

News broadcasters in the Americas, Europe and Asia are united when it comes to one thing about the forthcoming UK elections: nowhere else in the western democratic world, is the electorate being offered a choice between such similar parties in terms of policy. This is all the more remarkable in the case of the UK, because three, not two, major parties are contesting the election.

In last years’ US elections the population had a genuine choice between Obama’s Democrats and the Republicans, in terms of foreign, economic and social policy. In contrast, the UK parties are desperately trying to give the appearance that they have something setting them apart from each other, but in the total absence of this, the glare of public attention has had only one place to fall, that has been perhaps inevitably on the personalities of the politicians themselves. “Oh, he’s such a good speaker” people said of Clegg after the first debate. Well, if running a country was about speaking well on TV I’d vote for Jack Nicholson. Instead, I want to know who’d have the guts to take Putin behind the bicycle sheds and deck him one if need be. Alas, the campaign is more presidential than ever, yet without a degree of charisma between them.

And boy oh boy, are these really the grand finalists in ‘Who Wants to Lead the UK 2010’? Brown-just admit that you hate the job and can’t figure out why on earth you were so desperate to get it for all those years. Does he have a reflection in the mirror? CaMoron, you’re so lacking in substance you must weigh less than a feather. Somebody weigh him just to prove I’m wrong. Nick whatsisname, you tried to make out you were the man to upset the establishment, that was until it become clear to anyone reading your biography in wikipedia that you’re very much part of it and have been since your days as a £23,000-a-year student at the select Westminster Boys’ School. Oh dear.

I’ve never been able to understand why a population such as the British, who are so well informed about politics (I’m not the only one who says it, we’re renowned for it the world over) are willing to accept such poor quality politicians. Brits moan about this and that, saying that the war in Iraq was unjust because undertaken as a result of a group of Saudis attacking the World Trade Centre in 2001, and that the war in Afghanistan was unjust as undertaken following of attacks on the London underground by British Moslems in 2005. I respect the opinions of people on both sides of public opinion regarding these wars, but other events lead me to believe that as a population the Brits are remarkably, yes remarkably naive when it comes to judging their politicians.

Let me explain. The Brits like to think that they’re tough on their politicians, expecting high standards of ethical behaviour. “We’d never let our politicians get away with corruption, like they can in southern Europe or south America” they say, quoting Joseph de Maistre, who famously stated in 1811 that in a democracy people end up with the government that they deserve. I have an alternative view. I actually feel like the UK is a kind of paradise for politicians, where they can get away with things that politicians cannot get away with elsewhere. I should probably back up such a claim, so here goes.

For many years, politicians in the UK have had to declare donations to their campaigns or personal payments received. “There you are” say the Brits, “It’s all above board now”. But is it? Why do the politicians receive the money in the first place from these individuals like Lord Ashcroft or multinational companies? “Oh, it’s because these companies and wealthy people support the party’s policy plans” say our naïve Brits. Oh, right. And I was thinking that maybe the businessman and multinationals said to the politicians “Look Browny, if you promise me to enact that new law in the next Queen’s speech, I’ll give you £1 million towards the campaign”. But of course things don’t work like that in UK politics, only in southern Europe and South America. In the UK, wealthy businesses say to the major parties “Look chaps, fair play. Here’s £1 million for your campaign. Then after you win, if our interests conflict with what you believe to be right for the country, go ahead and do what you think is right. No hard feelings. Just see the £1 million as a gift towards justice, freedom and democracy”.

Of course, the reality is that donators exact a VERY high price for their contributions and govern the policies of the next government. I remember 13 years ago watching Lord Branson at Tony Blair’s victory party. “It’s time for a change” he said. Last week I saw him on TV saying that the UK Government should pay him money as damages for having closed UK airspace due to safety fears following the volcanic eruption in Iceland. Now, he’s after millions and who does he want to pay? Not Gordon Brown, but YOU. The money for Lord Branson (he needs a few bob after all) will come out of funds for hospitals, schools, kit for soldiers in Afghanistan or just be added onto the already crippling debts the Brits are building up for their much loved grandchildren.

The second mistake that UK citizens make is that they still believe that the politicians run the UK. If there was any doubt about where the real power lies in Britain, the rescue packages set up for the banks in the wake of the Lehman Brothers crisis showed that it is they, the banks that call the tune. Already they are making giant profits again, thanks to the money provided by Mr & Mrs Average in the UK, the taxpayers who propped them up. Business runs the world and politicians are their puppets. The only reason that big business and the politicians themselves don’t come out with it and tell us straight is that it doesn’t sound very democratic, and might start people asking if we do actually live in a democracy in which we’re all equal under the law or not. We couldn’t have that, so let’s continue giving the plebs the idea that the politicians are in charge, OK?

The third mistake that UK citizens make is that they pay their taxes. Just think. Why does this taboo exist in the UK about paying taxes? Everyone rounds on ‘cheats’ who don’t pay, without thinking for a moment: Who does this belief system benefit most of all? The fact is that most money that the public contribute in recent years has been spent on:

1) Wars in Asia.
2) Saving a right load of Bankers.
3) Paying pensions, which is a noble and generous activity when we consider that the people making the tax contribution will almost certainly never live to see a government pension of any real value in 30 or 40 years time.
4) Building up one of the largest debts of any country in the world which will be left as a present for your grandchildren to pay.

If British people launched a tax strike, maybe government would think again about how they spend all the money that they receive. But that won’t happen.

Finally, the Brits have a relationship with their leaders like the Jews with the Mesiah. They’re always waiting for the savior to come. They make near deities of their leaders. Most people are still fed up with Blair because he turned out to be human after all. What a cheek! We thought he was going to be out savior! Instead, the Brits should be angry with themselves for having placed him on a pedestal.

Will the Brits learn? I’m not sure and the smart money’s against it. Why? Because as someone said in 1811, “People end up with……”